A time for change and reflection…
The company I work for is being bought and will no longer be in existence come next Wednesday. I’ve worked there for almost 15 years, so this has been a time of reflection and change for me. Lately, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about what I wanted from my career – and what I didn’t get.
I am not going to say that my job wasn’t good. It was great in a lot of ways. I had an opportunity to grow my career and my professional abilities. I made some amazing friends and learned so much about myself, my skills, and what brings me joy in my work.
What was I looking for? And was it realistic?
The one thing, though, that I realize I was always searching for was a sense of being indispensable, completely and absolutely necessary, to the place I work. I never wanted to be doing something that anyone could do. Instead, I wanted to be doing what no one else could do. I never really felt that in this job. I did feel appreciated, though, just to be clear!
In this time of reflection, I think this is the first time I really been able to articulate that as the reason I never felt I had accomplished what I wanted. And as much as I finally realize that is what I was yearning for, I also equally realize that is completely unrealistic. I am never going to be able to make or break a company I work for… Maybe if I was a high-level executive or I was a very bad person, sure. But as a mid-level employee doing the best I can, the most I can hope for is to be valued for what I bring to the job. Not indispensable.
My work is not what makes me necessary.
Someone else could have done my job. They wouldn’t have done it exactly like me. Maybe they would have done it better, maybe not, but they would have got it done. Nothing would collapse without me.
Maybe Northwest Paws will take off and I’ll be able to do it full-time, but I still won’t be the only trainer or blogger in town. I’ll provide my unique insights and help and coaching – and be doing what I love to do. But my contributions, again, while they will provide value, won’t make or break my community.
I am essential at home, though. And so are you.
Where I am necessary? At home. I am needed by my dogs, my cats, and my husband (I hope, anyway!). No one can love them like I can. No one can take care of them like I can. And they love me and care for me in a way no one else can, as well.
You are indispensable to your dog. He needs you. Dogs give us so much, but they are also so dependent on us. We make all their decisions for them – when they eat, where they sleep, when they leave the house, what kind of training they get, how much love they get.
You are necessary to your dog; you are her everything. Don’t forget that. You might feel undervalued by the rest of the world, but you are the entire world to her. Find fulfillment in that. I know I do – more and more every day!